Yes, I am back
The wedding was fantstic, the singing was great, everything was beautiful. I felt extreme pride for my daughter as she walked down the aisle having fun throwing the flowers with her new friends (the other flower girl and the ring bearer). It was just months ago that she wouldn't do it without holding on to mommy for my SIL's wedding.
Arizona was just great. Great weather, great people, great golfing.
There were some problems with everyone's kids, but mine was the not going to sleep and hanging and gripping onto mommy so tight and other things. It embarassed the hell out of me and makes me feel like a bad parent. All last week and all this week I'm just coming to realize fully that there are some bad, bratty parts of my kid, everyone sees them, I had to have done something horribly wrong or AM doing something horribly wrong and my kid is going to turn out to be the kid everyone hates. Since I can remember I knew I'd have kids and I didn't NOT want them to be the ones everyone talks about behind backs and the bratty ones, but that's what I got now. She has such GOOD qualities too, such good qualities, and I love her to death still, but there are some things that are bad and need to change and everyone knows it and everyone is talking behind our backs on what fucking failures we are and all the things we are or have done wrong and all the things they would have done different or all their different ways they would handle what's going on now. I just feel like a complete loser of a parent, a failure, and I don't know where to go from here.
THAT is why I haven't posted, because though there were a bunch of nice things happening, there are also bad things and those are what's always at the forefront of my mind and I know you all are sick of hearing my bitching...so I just dind't post.
Arizona was just great. Great weather, great people, great golfing.
There were some problems with everyone's kids, but mine was the not going to sleep and hanging and gripping onto mommy so tight and other things. It embarassed the hell out of me and makes me feel like a bad parent. All last week and all this week I'm just coming to realize fully that there are some bad, bratty parts of my kid, everyone sees them, I had to have done something horribly wrong or AM doing something horribly wrong and my kid is going to turn out to be the kid everyone hates. Since I can remember I knew I'd have kids and I didn't NOT want them to be the ones everyone talks about behind backs and the bratty ones, but that's what I got now. She has such GOOD qualities too, such good qualities, and I love her to death still, but there are some things that are bad and need to change and everyone knows it and everyone is talking behind our backs on what fucking failures we are and all the things we are or have done wrong and all the things they would have done different or all their different ways they would handle what's going on now. I just feel like a complete loser of a parent, a failure, and I don't know where to go from here.
THAT is why I haven't posted, because though there were a bunch of nice things happening, there are also bad things and those are what's always at the forefront of my mind and I know you all are sick of hearing my bitching...so I just dind't post.
Oh... you bitching ISNT allowed? Well, heck that's why I have my blog. Now what will I do? And do I have to erase the last 2 days of posts? Hee hee hee.
Posted by
Me |
7:12 PM
just wait until my kid is born. s/he will so totally out-brat yours at all the family functions.
Posted by
K. H. |
4:07 PM
I think you might worry too much. And, if your family talks behind backs as much as it seems, they are the ones with the problems. How Jr. High. Lord, just tell 'em to f**k off, it's your kid, she's still a baby and she was in a completely new environment.
Posted by
Jody |
12:58 PM