What Am I Suppose To Do?
There are things that are IMPORTANT for parents to do, whether we want to do them or not. There are things we just have to do. Things that are important for our child.
I understand that.
You understand that.
Why. can't. my wife?
Kaia is starting her new daycare November 21. We have this week left at the old daycare and then next week we are in Arizona from Monday-Sunday and then BAM! it's Monday the 21st and new daycare time.
We have told Kaia allllll about this new daycare and she went out a month and a half or more ago with my mom to get some information, they didn't stay to visit or anything, and then about a week after that with me and my mom so I could see the place, talk to the people and just show Kaia what was up. She didn't stay to play or anything.
Kaia is NOT excited about the new daycare. I ask her if she is and she says "no." There are things we tell her about the new daycare and she seems to get excited - the fact that they went to the zoo this past summer, they went horseback riding, they have computer to learn and play on, colors, blocks, we bought her a new winter coat and snow pants for when they go out to play in the snow "and I can make snow angels, Daddy, and I wont show my teacher until it's done!" - but she is not excited to go.
She is a very timid little girl. She is very attached to Mommy and Daddy. She is shy of all strangers, half the time it's people she knows. She is even mostly shy around little girls and boys her age. It is absolutely going to break my heart to have to leave her there for the first couple of weeks until I know she is ok and she is having fun. I'm scared because it's a bigger place than two or three kids that she will be ignored. Now, I know this wont happen, but I'm a very "scared for my little girl" Daddy and I can't handle thinking bad thoughts about her :-(.
Anyway, she needs to be brought out a couple of times to spend an hour or two there. She needs to see the kids more, the place more, the teachers more before she goes, I think that will help a lot.
I have no PTO left -- I have ONE hour, that's all!
Therefore V needs to take her. This is something that practically needs to be done for our child so the transition is good and so she can become a little more comfortable with her new surroundings before she gets ripped from our arms screaming and crying the first week when she gets dropped off.
Last week she was "too busy" to have time to do it. She just plain dind't have time...supposedly.
This week...no time Monday. So I call this morning, I wake her up at 8:30 because I thought she'd be up, but I guess on Tuesday/Thursday she doesn't have to leave until 10 am so she didn't *need* to be up yet. So, of course, she was a crab and didn't want to talk...perfect excuse to not have to go out of her way to get something accomplished.
I ask her when she can this week -- just like I asked her Monday -- and she says she doesn't know, she doesn't have her schedule. You know she wont get up to get her schedule and wake up to attempt to be an adult yet either. So I say it needs to be done so does she have an idea on when she can do it? Can she skip a class or two? She doesn't know when she'll have time she'll have to get back to me when she has her schedule and time to talk to me. I say "If we don't talk about it now then pretty soon it'll be Thursday and I'll be here again talking to you about when you can do this" and she says "I don't have my schedule so I don't know I'll have to talk to you later" etc etc so I say, "Well, if that means talking to me tonight then Tuesday will have been gone and you'll only have Wednesday, Thursday and Friday." "I don't know when I have time...etc etc etc" so here's the line that made her hang up on me "Well, if you could wake up now and take her out there then..." HUNG UP, she hung up on me. Like usual. I tell her how things needs to be because she can't figure them out herself or doesn't want to face reality and she hangs up on me. Happens quite a lot if we talk about anything serious on the phone.
Our daycare lady for one more week gets veteran's day off...yes, you heard me...veterans day OFF, WITH pay. So the last day she needs to watch Kaia, Friday, she gets off with pay (because her husband gets it off of work she wants it too) but my dad gets it off too because he works for the city (DOT) so he's going to watch Kaia for us. I'm guess Thursday night will roll around and Veronica will have not made time in her schedule to take Kaia to her new daycare and so I will have to ask my dad if he can take Kaia to try and get a little acclimated. Even though it's not HIS daughter, HE'S not going to be taking her and it's HIS day off.
I can't take any time off to do this or I would. I don't have the time! I have ONE HOUR. I could take lost time, not get paid, to do this. But that would just be ridiculous when I have a perfectly able wife and mother of my child to do this.
What am I suppose to do?
I understand that.
You understand that.
Why. can't. my wife?
Kaia is starting her new daycare November 21. We have this week left at the old daycare and then next week we are in Arizona from Monday-Sunday and then BAM! it's Monday the 21st and new daycare time.
We have told Kaia allllll about this new daycare and she went out a month and a half or more ago with my mom to get some information, they didn't stay to visit or anything, and then about a week after that with me and my mom so I could see the place, talk to the people and just show Kaia what was up. She didn't stay to play or anything.
Kaia is NOT excited about the new daycare. I ask her if she is and she says "no." There are things we tell her about the new daycare and she seems to get excited - the fact that they went to the zoo this past summer, they went horseback riding, they have computer to learn and play on, colors, blocks, we bought her a new winter coat and snow pants for when they go out to play in the snow "and I can make snow angels, Daddy, and I wont show my teacher until it's done!" - but she is not excited to go.
She is a very timid little girl. She is very attached to Mommy and Daddy. She is shy of all strangers, half the time it's people she knows. She is even mostly shy around little girls and boys her age. It is absolutely going to break my heart to have to leave her there for the first couple of weeks until I know she is ok and she is having fun. I'm scared because it's a bigger place than two or three kids that she will be ignored. Now, I know this wont happen, but I'm a very "scared for my little girl" Daddy and I can't handle thinking bad thoughts about her :-(.
Anyway, she needs to be brought out a couple of times to spend an hour or two there. She needs to see the kids more, the place more, the teachers more before she goes, I think that will help a lot.
I have no PTO left -- I have ONE hour, that's all!
Therefore V needs to take her. This is something that practically needs to be done for our child so the transition is good and so she can become a little more comfortable with her new surroundings before she gets ripped from our arms screaming and crying the first week when she gets dropped off.
Last week she was "too busy" to have time to do it. She just plain dind't have time...supposedly.
This week...no time Monday. So I call this morning, I wake her up at 8:30 because I thought she'd be up, but I guess on Tuesday/Thursday she doesn't have to leave until 10 am so she didn't *need* to be up yet. So, of course, she was a crab and didn't want to talk...perfect excuse to not have to go out of her way to get something accomplished.
I ask her when she can this week -- just like I asked her Monday -- and she says she doesn't know, she doesn't have her schedule. You know she wont get up to get her schedule and wake up to attempt to be an adult yet either. So I say it needs to be done so does she have an idea on when she can do it? Can she skip a class or two? She doesn't know when she'll have time she'll have to get back to me when she has her schedule and time to talk to me. I say "If we don't talk about it now then pretty soon it'll be Thursday and I'll be here again talking to you about when you can do this" and she says "I don't have my schedule so I don't know I'll have to talk to you later" etc etc so I say, "Well, if that means talking to me tonight then Tuesday will have been gone and you'll only have Wednesday, Thursday and Friday." "I don't know when I have time...etc etc etc" so here's the line that made her hang up on me "Well, if you could wake up now and take her out there then..." HUNG UP, she hung up on me. Like usual. I tell her how things needs to be because she can't figure them out herself or doesn't want to face reality and she hangs up on me. Happens quite a lot if we talk about anything serious on the phone.
Our daycare lady for one more week gets veteran's day off...yes, you heard me...veterans day OFF, WITH pay. So the last day she needs to watch Kaia, Friday, she gets off with pay (because her husband gets it off of work she wants it too) but my dad gets it off too because he works for the city (DOT) so he's going to watch Kaia for us. I'm guess Thursday night will roll around and Veronica will have not made time in her schedule to take Kaia to her new daycare and so I will have to ask my dad if he can take Kaia to try and get a little acclimated. Even though it's not HIS daughter, HE'S not going to be taking her and it's HIS day off.
I can't take any time off to do this or I would. I don't have the time! I have ONE HOUR. I could take lost time, not get paid, to do this. But that would just be ridiculous when I have a perfectly able wife and mother of my child to do this.
What am I suppose to do?
I still can't believe she hangs up on you. That is rough! I honestly don't know how you could handle this. Maybe see if she can get up early with you and make it the main thing she needs to get done? I feel for you, but I don't have anything constructive to tell you.
Posted by
Badpatty |
10:50 AM
Biting.
My.
Tongue.
Dude, I really can't start to touch this one. LOL. I really have to *try* not to judge V. There are certain things that husbands and Dads do. There are certain things wives and Moms do.
Suffice to say that in your relationship you are both Mom and Dad... you are more Mom than any other man I have ever met or heard of in my entire life.
I can't give advice here on either K or V because it's just not my place. ;)
Posted by
Me |
12:51 PM
I know, I know, and I thank you for that Meritt. I am just venting. And I know that V isn't as bad as I can make her out to be, it's just easy to write about the bad stuff. ANd you know, it's a tough time for us all in where we are job-wise, financially, emotionally, etc. So there is a give and take.
Posted by
Lars |
12:59 PM
I felt the same way when my son started his new preschool. I stood outside the door and cried because I could hear him screaming for me.
It only took a few more times, and now HE.LOVES.IT!! I'm sure your daughter will too.
Posted by
LITTLE MISS |
6:09 AM