On the Stage

Yup, it's 2:30 am and I shouldn't be awake.

ALL day, but especially from 11-1 am Veronica was writhing and crying in pain from whatever the hell is happening to her back...don't ask me or her we don't know what the hell is going on, then she remembered the drugs she had from last time this happened to her, so she took those and she's fine now...but it wasn't until around 1 am that she finally went to sleep.

At 2:10 am in walks Kaia who has started her nightly ritual of hacking up a lung for about 45 minutes, except it has only been about 20 minutes and she has stopped the two-three hard coughs every 30 seconds, so maybe tonight she's done...nope, she just did one again so I can't go back to sleep yet.

Whether anyone is coughing or having back pain or anything our bed is too fucking small for two adults and a child, but it's especially worse when someone is coughing loud and the other one is pushed up again me and I don't like to be touched when I sleep and the temperature in the room never regulates with my body so I can't figure out if I'm hot or I'm cold and so I can't decide what to do with the covers and since I can't tell if I'm hot or cold sometimes I'm sweating and sometimes I'm not and I have something of my own wrong with my throat that has a mucusy problem that I'm trying to swallow every night no matter if I'm sick or not and I'm REALLY tired and have no help when the other two people in my family are sick, but only at night for Kaia and smack in the middle of the night for about 30-45 minutes...in our bed...loud...but I did find something in the cabinet for last time this happened and she's suppose to take it in the evening, so I can't start that until tomorrow night.

Yes, you read correctly, this exact coughing thing has happened one other time to her and that's what she took, so there are four little packets left, so we have four evenings to try and tackle this thing

and Yes, you read correctly, this exact back thing happened to Veronica one other time and ooooooh yes I remember it because it was a living hell for me back then just like it is now

AND I'm trying desperately hard not to use any MORE PTO because now after missing today I only have three whole days left to go to Washington with so I'm probably already going to have to use one day of non-pay vacation at the end of the year when we go, IF we go, IF we can find plane tickets.

MAN, KAIA'S COUGH ISN"T DONE YET AND IT"S BAD AND I WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING I COULD DO, NOT JUST BECAUSE IT"S DRIVING ME NUTS BUT BECAUSE I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER AND WISH SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO HACK EVERY DAMN NIGHT FOR 45 MINUTES...AND I WANT SOME SLEEP...AND I'M GOING INSANE AND NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME DURING THESE TIMES WHICH IS UNDERSTANABLE BUT STILL...

2:40 am...one is still awake...one is still coughing...and one's back pain is still there but not noticeable because the drugs must have knocked her out if she can stay in that bed with the little one coughing...

and I just looked at the date and realized it's my mother-in-laws birthday today, I'll have to make sure I call her and/or write her an e-mail, but you know what? by the time it's noonish our time, 10 am her time and I'm at work, I'll have already forgotten...

thank you...

**UPDATE** Well, it's only 6 hours after I posted this but still, I'm a little more sane now and I apologize for the sleep deprivated post. I'll wait till I hear from Veronica to tell you if she's better or not today, but I fear she wont be yet. Kaia is maybe not as bad as I make it sound. She does indeed wake up during the night at some point and cough for 30 minutes, but it's just because of drainage etc I think, not because she's "hacking up a lung" but it is very sad and now that I found those drugs from last time we'll see if that helps. She completely fine during the day, so it's just a middle of the night thing. I do have a vaporizer in her room and that little vicks medicated patch thing on her chest, so I'm doing all I can right now. I'm still really tired, but that's ok! I'm here at work and that's all for now.