Graphic Artist
I am a "graphic artist" and I put that in quotes because I SUCK. Long story, but I dind'tk now what I wanted to do until about my senior year of college and by that time I was 1 year from graduating at a college I loved but had NOTHING to do with Graphic Design, but I just finished, got out into the world and realized how much I sucked and what I really wanted to do, but my senior year of college I was having a child and wanting to graduate and get out into the world to make money for my family. Well, suffice to say I just got out, got a job I hate, and can't break into the graphic design world, but it doesn't help that i have no training, no experience, and I suck. I can't go BACK to college because my wife is in college, and we NEEEEED income, MY crappy income, and we have NO money so I can't take any classes on the side, so unless I really kick myself in the ASS to teach myself and really buckle down and just learn all by myself, which I can't seem to do because I'm 1.)Lazy 2.) Busy 3.) Tired by the end of the day 4.)A big piece of shit so I'll be stuck WISHING I could graphic design, but discovering I suck and just can't get any better and spinning into a spiral of depression in jobs that I hate. SOund like fun? I'm so frustrated...so very frustrated...
I'm just bitching...I figured I wrote it all out for someone else's blog, I might as well revise it and put it on my blog because it feels good to let it all out. I'm just so frustrated with how my life has turned out so far when it comes to a profession, and that I KNOW I'm a lazy bastard but I just don't do anything about it. Well, very little, I have been learning things here or there on photoshop, and I do the graphics work for all the shows from the theatre troupe I'm a part of, but it's just not enough. I look at everyone elses work and I WANT that, but I can't DO it, and I just don't know how to go about doing it. I just don't knwo what to do, so many times I tell myself and I tell people I'm sitting across at an interview that I can and have taught myself everything I know and everything I"ll learn, and I can teach myself fast and be good at it, but shit, half the time I don't feel like I can. I try, half-assed, sometimes to learn something in photoshop or illustrator or quark and it doesn't come easy to be and I can't immediately figure it out or find an answer and there is no one to show me, so I just kinda give up. And 90% of the time I feel like I'm just not creative enough either to find new and imaginative ways to design stuff, I just can't think up this cool shit that I see everyone else doing, and the only way I can is if I'm copying something else I saw somewhere. Occasionaly I can think of stuff myself, but it just looks like shit, to me at least. The poster for Into the Woods was all mine, but shit, what more is it then all black with some green boxes here and there? The idea to make the I of Into the Woods a tree was mine, but I'm SURE it's been done before. The design of the tree, while drawn in Illustrator by me, was from a tree I found online, not out of my head. And plus it's not the design I wanted in the first place. I had a completely different much more interesting design in my head, but I COULDN"T make it. I'm not that good. And there are SOOOOOOO many people who either work as a graphic artist or dabble in it who have never taken a class either, but are just GOOD. How the hell? Maybe it's the universe trying to tell me to just give it the fuck up because I suck. But that's what I want to do. I really do, but I don't want to be one of those people who keeps tryign to do somethign he sucks at and just looks like a depressing loser because he can't realize that he sucks. I also do NOT want to work in something I didn't do in college because otherwise it's a supreme waste of money. I shouldn't have even gone to college. I know millions of people do it, and I'll probably be one of them, but it's a tough pill to swallow right now. If it truly is a job I LOVE that has nothign to do with my major then I can get over it a little better, but I just feel like I'll spend my life in a job I hate at this rate.
Well...this has been bottled up again for a while, I know I've spouted out about this before, but it needed to come out again so I could let off a little steam.
I'm just bitching...I figured I wrote it all out for someone else's blog, I might as well revise it and put it on my blog because it feels good to let it all out. I'm just so frustrated with how my life has turned out so far when it comes to a profession, and that I KNOW I'm a lazy bastard but I just don't do anything about it. Well, very little, I have been learning things here or there on photoshop, and I do the graphics work for all the shows from the theatre troupe I'm a part of, but it's just not enough. I look at everyone elses work and I WANT that, but I can't DO it, and I just don't know how to go about doing it. I just don't knwo what to do, so many times I tell myself and I tell people I'm sitting across at an interview that I can and have taught myself everything I know and everything I"ll learn, and I can teach myself fast and be good at it, but shit, half the time I don't feel like I can. I try, half-assed, sometimes to learn something in photoshop or illustrator or quark and it doesn't come easy to be and I can't immediately figure it out or find an answer and there is no one to show me, so I just kinda give up. And 90% of the time I feel like I'm just not creative enough either to find new and imaginative ways to design stuff, I just can't think up this cool shit that I see everyone else doing, and the only way I can is if I'm copying something else I saw somewhere. Occasionaly I can think of stuff myself, but it just looks like shit, to me at least. The poster for Into the Woods was all mine, but shit, what more is it then all black with some green boxes here and there? The idea to make the I of Into the Woods a tree was mine, but I'm SURE it's been done before. The design of the tree, while drawn in Illustrator by me, was from a tree I found online, not out of my head. And plus it's not the design I wanted in the first place. I had a completely different much more interesting design in my head, but I COULDN"T make it. I'm not that good. And there are SOOOOOOO many people who either work as a graphic artist or dabble in it who have never taken a class either, but are just GOOD. How the hell? Maybe it's the universe trying to tell me to just give it the fuck up because I suck. But that's what I want to do. I really do, but I don't want to be one of those people who keeps tryign to do somethign he sucks at and just looks like a depressing loser because he can't realize that he sucks. I also do NOT want to work in something I didn't do in college because otherwise it's a supreme waste of money. I shouldn't have even gone to college. I know millions of people do it, and I'll probably be one of them, but it's a tough pill to swallow right now. If it truly is a job I LOVE that has nothign to do with my major then I can get over it a little better, but I just feel like I'll spend my life in a job I hate at this rate.
Well...this has been bottled up again for a while, I know I've spouted out about this before, but it needed to come out again so I could let off a little steam.
Having a job for something you didn't take in college is NOT A WASTE OF TIME. Look at it this way; you can't get hardly ANY decent job without a college education. What you have... is a college education. Who CARES what you 'took'? The whole idea is to show you went... really 99% of the time that's all they care about.
Posted by
Me |
5:49 PM
Anything you want is possible... if you want it enough. Many employers offer to pay for all or part of your schooling as long as you stay there while you go to school. Have you asked your HR person? Night classes at DMACC aren't too expensive and with your parents so close would they watch Kaia once a week? Honestly, you just have to want it enough to work it all out. Do you want it enough? Or do you just want to whine about it until you retire at 60?
Posted by
Jody |
6:49 AM
First of all, you do not suck. I'm not an industry-shaking graphic artist either, but you need to bloom where you're planted. You are a creative person by nature. That counts for a lot -- never, ever discount that!
Plus, there is nothing wrong with seeking inspiration from other sources. Education is all around you, not just in a piece of paper handed to you by an "accredited" school. We all get down on ourselves from time to time (you've read my blog so you KNOW... haha!). Don't give up.
Seek out alternative sources of learning. For instance, one of my favorite sources is Graphic Annuals. Whether magazines (Print, How, GD, etc) or books (AIGA annuals are my faves), there are some great ideas to be drawn upon (pardon the pun). Get one of these books, a pencil, and sketch pad, then start flipping through the pages of the Annual. Sketch out the designs you really like. Observe the lines, the grid formation, ponder WHY these things work. DO they work? What do they have in common?
Then start looking at ALL the things around you—billboards, calendars, soda bottles. Everything down to the smallest sign or label, even the keyboard you are typing on. Someone designed ALL these things! Why do you think they did what they did the way they did it? Learn to be a keen observer. It's a skill worth more than any diploma. You'll get it. Keep doing it every day. Exercise your creative brain. Keep a sketch pad with you at all times and write down what you see and your observations about it. On a lunch break. Watching TV. Become conscious of all the art and design that's all around you. Trust me, it's everywhere.
BTW, another GREAT magazine is Before & After (www.bamagazine.com). It's subtitled "How to design cool stuff" -- you'll get LOTS of ideas from that!!
Build your confidence through experience. You will get it!
Posted by
blueblanket |
7:15 AM
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Posted by
blueblanket |
10:58 AM