On the Stage

So, last night I invited my friend over to beat up a couch with me. Hey...I know what you're thinking, but the he had it coming.

This couch was my parents couch, then they got a new one and gave the old one to me and Veronica. My dad and I brought it over to the good 'ol apartment way last year some time and tried to get it into the sliding glass door...no dice. Not even close. This is a huge couch by the way. So then we tried to get it in the side door to the apartment building. After about 10 minutes we finally got it fanagled through the door and hallway and to our front door. Then became the task of getting it in the front door. After another good 10-15 minutes it's finally in the front door. We had to twist, turn, pull, push, hide, shove, we had to practically re-invent the wheel to get this fucker in.

After it's in our front door then we had to get it around a corner down a hallway and into the living room. Believe me, NOT EASY. After trying to re-invent the wheel again the couch is safely in the living room.

We decided then and there that the only way this couch was coming out of this apartment was in pieces.

That brings me to last night. With my friend Chris, a circular saw, a hammer, and 2 box cutters this couch was about to have a bad night.

Cutting out someo fabric around the sides I freed 3 crayons, 2 markers, 1 McDonald's toy, 5 pretties (hair thingies), a keychain, and some legos...much to Kaia's delight.

We then needed a way to get the arms of the couch off. Cutting into some more fabric along the top and back we found a free piece of wood we believed would be the achielles tendon of this here couch. Finding there are no huge staples or wires in the way I crank up the circular saw.

It took me a good 5 minutes to believe I could actually do this and nothing tramatic would happen. I have never used a circular saw, I have SEEN it used, but only on TV shows where they are cutting flat boards on a table. I"m cutting a board on a couch. Asking Kaia to turn around and cover her eyes (better safe than sorry) I set the saw down on the couch and go to town. Now, this piece isn't very big so it only took about 15 seconds to cut and I did and it did and all was well.

After that we started beating it with a hammer and kick it going away from the couch so as to dislodge the piece from the rest of it's body. Cutting more crucial fabrics we finally beat down the couch enough and got that piece off. Nice big piece of the couch looking none to good from the beating with a hammer, cutting of fabric, and kicking until dislodged. We chuck the piece out the sliding glass door (which is open!) and head to the other side.

Repeating the same process yielded much the same results. We came into contact with different problems, met them head on, and with a little brute force we came out the victor on that end as well. That piece was in more than one piece because of different circumstances, a lot of the batting from the squishy part was on my floor, so we picked all that up and chucked it out the door.

We then, for good measure, jumped, beat, pulled and cut the whole back piece off as well.

All that was left was taking the pieces to the dumpster and the couch was indeed out of my apartment.

It really wasn't all that hard, may sound like it, but much easier, more refreshing and more fun than trying to take it out all in one piece.