On the Stage

I don't want to get too into politics, I like to just leave that in my head...I like my world without politics but unfortunately, I think this post will be about politics...dammit

By the way, happy October! The birth month of lots of people I know, but specifically my daughter and my mother-in-law.

So, I watched part of the debates last night, I have the whole thing on TiVo still, I just can't decide whether I need to watch it again. I watched from 8-8:30, sorta, then I gave my daughter a bath and read her some books and put her to bed and then by that time they were all but on their closing statements and even then I was on the internet and only half watching again. It's not hard for me to say, my daughter is more important than some political debates on TV.

I don't think I'll get much out of it...when it comes to watching politics on TV I either start doing something else and half to none pay attention or I gloss over and start thinking of something else. I just can't pay attention enough to what they're saying.

I can seem to pay attention when co-workers and and friends are talking, but when they talk I just can't take it.

Let's face it...I'm undecided...so what? I can be, probably will be for the whole election. I see good in both sides, it's just, I guess, a matter of weighing the goods and the bads and seeing where it comes out...but it never comes out anywhere when I try.

Although I feel it's an unpopular decision, but face it, it's my decision and I have to live with it...I'm not so sure I'm going to vote. *GASP* I said it...I am not sure if I'm going to vote.

"But you have to vote"
"It's your civic duty"
"You're a bad man if you don't vote"
"You're not an adult"
"You don't care about your country"
"How immature and naive"
and whatever else bad everyone can say about it...

I can't decide...I think both sides will do fine as president...

Unlike a lot of other, which I think is sad, I don't think the country will go to shambles or be ruined if either one of those gentlemen is in the office these next four years. We're America, we'll be fine...and if that's naive thinking, then let me think it dammit.

I've got an uncle...I hope he doesn't read this, but he's crazy. He is non-stop, fucking non-stop, into conspiracy theories. I can't even talk to him anymore without that coming out. He's sent me video tapes and CDs of all thise mumbo-jumbo and letters saying "if you want to live your life not knowing the truth, fine, but don't say someone didn't try to tell you" and other worse comments that I can't remember because it's probably better that I don't, and my basic point is...FINE, if anything you say is true, and I"m not so sure anything but maybe 5% is, then FINE, let me think the world is still a safe enough place and that bringing a child into this world was fine and that there are still some good people and this and that. I'm living my life happy and positive of the future, let me stay that way. I don't want to live paranoid and afraid and always on the look out, whatever, I don't want to.

Just like me thinking America will be ok no matter what...if that's not true, FINE, but let me think that it is...

JEEZ...I didn't even want to get into politics...but I guess this blog is for me saying what I'm feeling and right now that is something I'm feeling.

I KNOW that those presidents will make decisions that affect me and my family and my friends, but if I don't vote, I won't complain, I guaran-damn-tee you I won't, so don't give me that "If you don't vote, you can't complain" because I wont!

I consider myself an intellegent person and I haven't fully decided that I wont vote yet, but I'm leaving that option open.

Now...so far I haven't said basically anything about either party or either person and what I do or don't like about either and why it's all swirling in my head, and you know what? I'm not going to.

I'm afraid of my own opinions because everyone attacks them so. Attacks them openly, attacks them in their head, but I know they are and I don't feel like being attacked...sometimes I'm a vulnerable person, hell, I'm always a vulnerable person, it's just sometimes I hid it better than others.

I can't fully rely on one side of the political spectrum or the other, so either way I vote I'm voting for some good things and some bad things.

I'll tell you, one of the main things I want to base my vote on I don't like the way either one of them thinks...so what do I do then?