On the Stage

1.) I am glad I'm a guy. With pants and a belt and tucked in shirt I can stand there with my willy hanging (pointed in the right direction) and just pee while I do whatever else I need to do with my hands.
- For instance: Today I was eating a Kudos bar and there was chocolate on my hand so I was eating and licking off the chocolate leaning against the wall, while I peed.

Now granted, women can do the same thing while sitting there, but you always have to wipe AND, big thing here, you have to sit on the damn seat...that's my #2 point about bathrooms.

2.) Guys, girls, who can relate to me here? When you enter a stall to either pee or poo do you have to wipe down the seat thoroughly before sitting down? I HAVE to. Yuck, I hate knowing I have to sit on someone else's ass. Especially, for guys mostly (though I have cleaned bathrooms at Subway where girls have managed to piss all over the seat -- can someone tell me HOW?) there is piss all over the seat. Occasionally there will be poo on the seat...now that's DISTGUSTING and if it's too gross, I'll hold it dammit. Shit, toilet seats gross me out, big time. Especially in public restrooms. And especially if it's bad or I don't like the vibes I"m getting I'll use the little paper thing you can sit on. Why, with those little paper things, they don't come with the middle already cut out is beyond me. Why, why, why?

I am NOT a germ phobia when it comes to eating or drinking things that someone else that I know has eaten or drank from. Not a germ phobia about anything BUT toilets...grosses me OUT.

Oh, and I also flush with my foot. No way I'm touching that handle.